Power through the people

Have you come across a person who is so naturally friendly that when you put him inside a room of strangers, he’ll be friends with almost everyone in no time? We call such a people-person, someone unbelievably nice and so charismatic, that he can charm anyone into doing anything.

A socially-empowered person achieves so much greatness, basically, because of the people that catapult him to success. He earns the trust and all-out support of the people, whom he had helped before. He never runs out of help. He can do anything with the plethora of people behind him. All because he knows he maximizes his social potential!

See, if you know your social skills and you make use of them, you will reach self-empowerment. Self-empowerment is making a general overhaul in your life and turning yourself into a happier and more successful person. If you can be one of those people-persons, then I can’t see any reason why you will not succeed. You just have to know how to start.

1. Be genuine.

Hypocrisy will just bring you all the way down. Be genuinely nice and interested in people. Once they perceive that you are Mr. Hypocrite with selfish intentions, you might as well say goodbye to self-empowerment.

2. Be the greatest listener that you can be.

To earn the love and trust of the people, listen to their problems and sympathize with them. Do not just hear them out, listen to them with your heart. Make eye contact when the person talks to you. Listen as if every word matters, because it does.

3. Laugh out loud.

I do not mean that you force yourself to laugh for every joke cracked by someone, albeit you do not find it funny at all. This means finding humor in things and not being too darn serious. A person oozing with an awesome sense of humor attracts crowds and eventually, attracts success.

4. Don’t forget yourself.

In the process of fluttering around like a social butterfly, you might forget yourself, allowing everyone to push you over. Remember, love and value yourself before anyone else. If you deem yourself respectable and worthy of affection, people will flock to you and not trample on you.

5. Do random acts of kindness.

You don’t have to do a John Rockefeller and blow your savings to charity. Little acts of kindness matters the most, and this can be as simple as giving someone a surprise you-take-care card or helping an elderly cross the street. When we were kindergarten students, kindness was taught to us and greatly practiced. Now is the time to revive the good deeds and this time, let them stay for good.

6. Contact your old friends.

Sad how some friendships are destined to goodbye, but thanks to technology, you can do something about it. Relive the good old days by flipping through your yearbook and look for the great people whom you want to communicate with again. Adding these old friends to your roster of support peers, will surely make you feel good all over.

7. Develop your personality.

Are you grouchy, grumpy and generally morose? Whoa, you can’t go through life with those. Get rid of the bad traits and habits that perpetually hamper your growth. And really, who wants a grouchy friend anyway?

8. Be confident.

Be able to stride to the other corner of the room and introduce yourself to people with that winning smile of yours. Just remember: be confident, not arrogant.

9. Practice control.

When angry, don’t snap at anyone. Never throw a tantrum. Stay calm and collected. Be adult enough to take control of a situation and transform your anger into something more productive and passive. As soon as people think your anger goes to volcanic proportions easily, they will find it hard to come to you.

10. Keep nurturing your relationships.

Your relationship with your family, friends and significant others is too precious and you must not neglect it, whatever happens. Go out and have fun with them. Do things together. Happiness will never fly from your side as long as the people who matter the most are close to you.

In the end, using people for self-empowerment means becoming a better and more lovable person. It’s a win-win situation: the people know they can turn to you anytime and vice-versa.

“What Really Makes You Tick?” 10 questions you should ask of yourself: A Preparation To Self-Development.

1. What do I really want?

The age old question. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about getting them done.

You can’t just do something that you are good at, you must be passionate about it as well. When you are doing something you truly enjoy doing, you will naturally be better at doing whatever that is. It might help trying to realize that in small steps first, leading towards broader steps of improvement. The key here is to add a dash of diligence towards achieving your desires.

2. Should I really change or improve?

I guess the better question would be, why shouldn’t you change and improve?

If history has taught us anything, it’s that life changes with time, even during those times when it seems that nothing has changed.

What changes is how we perceive the tried and true or the improvements. Try to see if partying 70’s style wouldn’t appeal to the younger generation. And dancing, another example of change without change. The difference is in the improvement.

3. What’s the bright side in all of this?

With so much devastation happening around us, we might sometimes think there will never be that light at the end of the tunnel. But, it’s during these very times that we learn how generous we can be. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it’s a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round! How you choose to see life is your choice. Look for the bright side.

Remember, you will always find what you expect. When you expect the negative, it is what you will find. The only way to find the positive, is to actively seek it out and have that expectation as the end result.

4. Am I comfortable with what I’m doing?

There’s always the option of doing things the right way, when it seems too difficult a task to conquer. While you might also find an easy way to handle the same situation, over the long run, you might find your easy cure to be your very undoing.

If you suffer guilt due to your decision, maybe you need to take a second look. When you place yourself on the receiving end first, the pictures becomes one that is much clearer. It doesn’t take a genius to realize whether they would desire someone else to treat them in the same manner, but a person willing enough to answer this question with honesty is simply genuinely genius. See yourself as the other person and if you are pleased by your actions, everybody wins.

5. Have I done enough for myself?

Is there something more you want to do? Of course there is. Discontentment in any aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you’ll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing else-wise. So take baby steps at first, set goals along the way that lead to progress. Sometimes you will find, doing more for others actually does more good for your own spirit too.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?

It’s an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving person, so why not take it up a notch or two! Being happy and being happy with were you are in life aren’t always the same thing. The same can be said for anyone in life! While we should always be grateful for what we have, a desire to improve upon the happiness in our lives is always a positive thing. On the other hand, if you aren’t happy about your life or where your life is going, it’s time to step up to the plate and change your life. Life is too short to spend it unhappy.

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?

So maybe I don’t have an answer to that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try it, right? Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit. Until you are able to view yourself as appealing, the opposite sex isn’t very likely to view you as appealing.

8. How much could I have?

Maybe the best question is, how much do you really need? Having lots of money and nice possessions is great, there’s no denying that, but if your desires border on greed, you might find yourself with less of what counts most - self respect!

Those who are blessed enough to find themselves in a financially secure position in life, will always tell you - they try to give back, in good turn. Remember you must improve the society that surrounds you, if you hope to achieve better surroundings. It’s a rhetorical thing. And more important, it’s not always about financial wealth. The best wealth you can offer the world and your loved ones is your character. No amount of money can buy quality character - or the love of another human being.

9. What motivates me?

What motivates you? It’s an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many different things that can motivate an individual. What works for one person, might not necessarily work for another. But, if it inspires you, encourages you, or energizes you - chances are - that is your best motivation. Think of life as a super buffet, sampling a little of everything. Eventually, even the pickiest of persons will find something that suits their taste buds.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?

Once you have the answer to the first nine questions, you will have a great indication as to what really makes you tick. You can be just about anything you want to be, but to realize that attaining something difficult is to realize what really makes you tick is the beginning of a wonderful journey. Always remember, that self-development is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it’s something that you really desire to accomplish.

Feng shui has one main goal: Increase positive energy by creating a place of balance and harmony. This is achieved by using the five elements of feng shui. The elements all work with each other and have their own characteristics. When balancing the energy in any space, these five elements are used to enhance positive energy as well as counteract negative energy.

Wood is connected to the color green. To increase the wood energy in an area, live plants are used and not dead wood that is in chairs and other furniture. In addition to adding wood energy, the plants filter the air and increase oxygen making the atmosphere of your space more healthy. Wood’s home is in the East of your space.

Fire is connected to reds, oranges, and purples. Fire is anything that uses electricity or produces heat.Televisions and lamps are good examples. A lamp that has a red lampshade can greatly increase the fire energy of an area. Fire’s home is the South.

Earth is connected to tans, browns, and beige. Brickwork and anything that uses rocks is part of the earth element. Clay pots, tiles, and ceramics also increase the earth energy. Earth is the Northeast.

Metal is connected to whites and golds. So much is made of metal, you can pretty much pick and choose what to use to increase your metal energy. A statue or even a bed frame will work great. Metal is located in the West.

Water is connected to blues and blacks. Representing the winter, water is commonly used in more passive ways due to it’s wet nature. Used improperly, water can disturb all the energy in your space. Using aquariums, fountains, or pools are the easiest ways to increase water energy. Water is in the North.

Would you like to learn more about feng shui? Feng shui is really growing in popularity and the demand for feng shui practitioners is higher than ever. Many people dabble in feng shui using tips from the Internet or from television but the best way to learn feng shui is from a feng shui school.

There are tons of feng shui schools, and the odds are, there is one in your town or close by. But if that isn’t an option, online feng shui schools are a great alternative and might even be more convenient for many people.

Traditional classes are preferred by many people when it comes to feng shui, because they have a more “hands on” approach than an online school. The problem is, feng shui may not be offered everywhere and online may be your only option. Before you enroll in any class, make sure the teacher is certified and has a good reputation.

At a feng shui school you will learn all kinds of things you might otherwise never know about. Feng shui is very old and you will learn all about the history of feng shui, yin and yang, the five elements, and how all of this interacts with the universe and your environment.

Many people start off doing feng shui as a hobby and become very impressed by the effects it has on every aspect of their lives. If you have dabbled in feng shui or are just curious about it, check around for opportunities. Many cities have adult education centers where you can take classes for feng shui at a reasonable cost and some even offer night classes.

Feng shui is a term that means “wind-water”. There are many versions of Feng shui that you can learn from and all kinds of classes whether online or in a traditional classroom.

The basis of Feng shui is that it allows you to achieve harmony with your surroundings and the environment. This is achieved through arranging your space, planning your agriculture, and more commonly, arranging the furniture and decorations of your home.

Feng shui has been practiced for over 4000 years in China, but only in the last couple decades has it really taken off in the rest of the world. The belief is that everything has energy and everything in your home or office can either help you accomplish your goals or even hinder them.

Feng shui teaches you to understand the energy that is in everything - from your body to pretty much anything that exists. By understanding this energy, you gain the insight to arrange your home or office to help you reach any goal that you set, by increasing the good energy and eliminating the bad energy.

Feng shui uses two main tools. There is the Ba-Gua and the compass. The Ba-Gua is a map that contains the symbols of the I Ching upon which feng shui originated.

The Ba-Gua consists of 8 specialized areas, what they represent, and the color scheme that is best suited to them. This is to increase the flow of good energy throughout the entire area.

Feng shui is known to improve a person’s life in many ways. This is what makes it so popular. The promise of well being, increasing your chance to meet your goals, and improving your overall health is something everyone wants.

This article is one of a series of articles. Watch for more postings on the topic of Feng Shui.

A great way of self improvement is through spiritual development. It’s a challenge this day in age, but self improvement comes via challenge, right? Spiritual development brings enlightenment, peace of mind, and better understanding of ourselves as well as others.

To grow spiritually in a world defined by power, money, and influence is a Herculean task. Modern conveniences such as electronic equipments, gadgets, and tools as well as entertainment through television, magazines, and the web have predisposed us to confine our attention mostly to physical needs and wants. As a result, our concepts of self-worth and self-meaning are muddled. How can we strike a balance between the material and spiritual aspects of our lives?

To grow spiritually is to look inward.

Introspection goes beyond recalling the things that happened in a day, week, or month. You need to look closely and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and motivations. Periodically examining your experiences, the decisions you make, the relationships you have, and the things you engage in provide useful insights on your life goals, on the good traits you must sustain and the bad traits you have to discard. Moreover, it gives you clues on how to act, react, and conduct yourself in the midst of any situation. Like any skill, introspection can be learned; all it takes is the courage and willingness to seek the truths that lie within you. Here are some pointers when you introspect: be objective, be forgiving of yourself, and focus on your areas for improvement.

To grow spiritually is to develop your potentials.

Religion and science have differing views on matters of the human spirit. Religion views people as spiritual beings temporarily living on Earth, while science views the spirit as just one dimension of an individual.

Mastery of the self is a recurring theme in both Christian (Western) and Islamic (Eastern) teachings. The needs of the body are recognized but placed under the needs of the spirit. Beliefs, values, morality, rules, experiences, and good works provide the blueprint to ensure the growth of the spiritual being. In Psychology, realizing one’s full potential is to self-actualize.

Maslow identified several human needs: physiological, security, belongingness, esteem, cognitive, aesthetic, self-actualization, and self-transcendence.  When you have satisfied the basic physiological and emotional needs, spiritual or existential needs come next. Achieving each need leads to the total development of the individual.

Perhaps the difference between these two religions and psychology is the end of self-development: Christianity and Islam see that self-development is a means toward serving God, while psychology view that self-development is an end by itself.

To grow spiritually is to search for meaning.

Religions that believe in the existence of God such as Christianity, Judaism, and Islam suppose that the purpose of the human life is to serve the Creator of all things. Several theories in psychology propose that we ultimately give meaning to our lives.

Whether we believe that life’s meaning is pre-determined or self-directed, to grow in spirit is to realize that we do not merely exist. We do not know the meaning of our lives at birth; but we gain knowledge and wisdom from our interactions with people and from our actions and reactions to the situations we are in. As we discover this meaning, there are certain beliefs and values that we reject and affirm.  Our lives have purpose. This purpose puts all our physical, emotional, and intellectual potentials into use; sustains us during trying times; and gives us something to look forward to—a goal to achieve, a destination to reach. A person without purpose or meaning is like a drifting ship at sea.

To grow spiritually is to recognize interconnections.

Religions stress the concept of our relatedness to all creation, live and inanimate. Thus we call other people “brothers and sisters” even if there are no direct blood relations. Moreover, deity-centered religions such as Christianity and Islam speak of the relationship between humans and a higher being.

On the other hand, science expounds on our link to other living things through the evolution theory. This relatedness is clearly seen in the concept of ecology, the interaction between living and non-living things. In psychology, connectedness is a characteristic of self-transcendence, the highest human need according to Maslow. Recognizing your connection to all things makes you more humble and respectful of people, animals, plants, and things in nature. It makes you appreciate everything around you. It moves you to go beyond your comfort zone and reach out to other people, and become stewards of all other things around you.

Growth is a process thus to grow in spirit is a day-to-day encounter. We win some, we lose some, but the important thing is that we learn, and from this knowledge, further spiritual growth is made possible.

Judgment is something we do on a daily basis whether we realize it or not. There is not a day that goes by that we haven’t passed some type of judgment about something. But, are those judgments accurate? Do we even have the right to judge another person? Or the right to pass judgment on any particular place or thing based on a few moments in time, or a few spoken words?

There is a point in time when you will not be at your best and find yourself in a position, where regardless of how you feel, you must interact with others. The question now becomes one of which, do you really want others judging you and your entire life on that moment in time?

Remember that disgruntled employee, you thought would have been better off if they had just stayed home for the day? Or maybe you remember the smiling cheerful employee, that greeted you will smiles, maybe even a few kind words? Now, do you remember what you thought about that person? How you might have judged them?

It is often, too easy, to pass judgment on another with only a single interaction. But, is that fair and more importantly, do we even have that right? How much might we miss in life by being judgmental? It’s something to ponder and be aware of daily, as we encounter others and interact with the people around us.

What? You say you don’t judge others? Or maybe you think your assessments are accurate? Never be so sure. Remember that ‘bum’ you saw outside the corner market? Or the tattered-clothes woman, in the beat-up old clunker of a car at your local grocer? Don’t you remember what you thought or said? Here’s something I wrote when I was fifteen years old, that might give you pause for reflection - and judgment. What if the worse had been the best, or was in the guise of something other than what it truly was?

I hope it inspires you to aspire to greater things - and thoughts. And remember, everybody is loved by somebody somewhere - and nobody can really say where or what they might become tomorrow. We can only state with certainty what we aspire to be.

I have always believed you can overcome anything and everything you set your mind to. And as long as your motives were good, life would be good too. Yet, my life was always filled with some type of life crisis.

The past several weeks, I have been spending my time asking myself a very stupid [in the end] question: Why is my life filled with grief, when I try so hard to do right by others - give so much of myself? Still not reaching a point of self pity, yet obsessed with having the answer to that question - the light bulb finally lit up! My God, how could I have been so blind and stupid to boot? Five little words, how can they effect so much of my life? One precept, controlling so much!

That realization has had such an impact, I knew I had to share what I had learned. My life will never be the same again. But first, let me share some of the dynamics of my mind and thinking process.

I’ve always had a positive outlook on life and each time life dealt a bad blow [so to speak], survival instinct always kicked in automatically. Yet, for as positive as my mindset, my life remained a ’soap opera drama’ of challenges that rivaled any story of fiction one could dream up.

I watched others give up when faced with less challenge. Never accepting defeat myself, I have managed to land on my feet each time. Yet, the dramas of life never stopped. Each time I would automatically fight the good fight, until I ‘righted’ each wrong only to find myself facing another fight.

My strength is drawn on my belief of the “Supreme” power and if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it and reward good effort with [at the least] peace of mind. Peace of mind? I have known that [peace of mind] for very brief periods of time. Unfortunately, my peace of mind never seemed to last very long, before I had to face yet another long, mind bending challenge/good fight.

With the belief that I can do anything I set my mind to, there lingered a hidden fear in the dark recesses of my mind … was my course of action the best and least harmful solution? Am I doing something I don’t consciously acknowledge that brings these drama situations to my doorstep? For all the good I try to do, it seems fate brings too many hardships and heartaches into my life.

I was winning the battles, but becoming to tired to handle the wars. So, what was the problem? What was I doing that was so wrong? Why couldn’t I live a ‘normal’ life with only the occasional small problems that it seems all others around me were living?

For years my friends and associates told me my problem was the fact that I refused to ask others for help in my times of need. “It’s too much for one person O’Della, you have to learn how to ask others for help!” or they would tell me, “Don’t ask IF others will help you, TELL them you need their help - demand it!”

So, I broke down and spilled my heart out, baring my very soul. Each person/organization always responding with “I wish there were something I could do to help, but my hands are tied.” Everyone stressed though, that I should and could not give up. It was up to me to persist and fight, continue to ask for help - until I received what I needed.

Each time I tried this approach, I always found all others absent during the times of battle. It was me against the world, but for the grace of God. I have always asserted the knowledge, that when I look behind me and see only one set of foot prints - I thank God for carrying me when I no longer had the strength to walk.

Yet, while I had that knowledge, I missed the most important lesson God was trying to teach me. And while others have made comments on my determination and strength, saying they would have given up if faced with the same situation - my response was always the same: “I keep telling God he has way too much confidence in me!”

Many times I have cried myself to sleep, asking God’s forgiveness for any wrong doings I might have done - begging God to give me the strength, determination, and love in heart to do what had to be done. Analyzing my motives, actions, words - everything you can think of - trying to figure out what I was doing to earn this ill favor from God, that my life was so filled with heartache and hardship.

Five little words kept repeating in my mind, and passing my lips - throughout my life. Yet, I never analyzed them closely or considered the weight they carried. Eureka! How could something [considered] so silly have such a dramatic impact on my life? Are you ready for this? It really is that simple. What are those five words?

First, let me state: God’s word is always true and he does hear our pleas of help. God also proves his word is true when we dare to doubt them. For as firm as my beliefs where, I still had [secret] doubts. Not in God - but in my own abilities. And therein lies the irony.

“I’m not that strong God!” Those five little words - in essence, I was challenging God and his promise: His Word, against my own words and thoughts. God knows our strength, even when we don’t. And, we raise the question with our own doubts, invoking God’s response. If we dare to doubt, he will supply the proof we need - showing again and again, if needed: He does not challenge us to face anything alone or with anything less than we need to “Overcome anything and everything” life presents.

But wait, it gets even better once you realize there is a sure way to decipher the answers to any question life presents. Whether it’s a question of self improvement, which career to choose or how to find success in life, you possess the knowledge. You only need to learn how to tap into that knowledge and put it to good use.

Do you owe it to others, to share or reward good measure? Are you one of those people who give, then give some more, only to feel like you are being taken advantage of by others? If so, take advantage of my free member subscription now [while you still can] for access to this future article posting.

Until next time …

Changing the world one action at a time - is it really possible for one person to change anything? If only I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say, “What can I do, I’m only one person!” To which I must respond:

We’ve all had those days where it seems everything is just destined to go wrong. Now, I want you to search your mind for two such times, but take note to my conditions - I have two:

• Think about a really bad day, when it seemed everyone you encountered was rude or inconsiderate - then think about “how” that made you feel, think, and react afterwards.
• Think about a really bad day - maybe your thoughts were leading you to believe nobody cared anymore - then someone does something, says something wonderful - soaring your spirits once again. How that made you feel, and more important - how that affected the way you treated others afterwards.

Plus One, is my utopic view of the world we live in. We all have our own ideas of what the ‘perfect world’ would be like, acknowledging at the same time, it won’t be here on earth - or will it?

I’ve always been a dreamer of sort, looking for the brighter side of life as I make my way through all the darkness this world possesses. Poetry is a great way to feed these desires of the soul and in a medium that makes it more memorable for us to ‘digest’ within our hearts and mind.

I hope you find some hope and inspiration within this poem, enjoy! If you enjoy this as much as I think you will, please leave your comments below. Thank you.

Click here to read “Plus One, My Poetry for Peace”

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