I am going to ask you to do something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive or negative?

Now let’s say you are walking down the street with these same thoughts. Do you think anyone, you might encounter, would be able to tell you what you were thinking? Would the way you presented yourself [air of confidence or suspicious of others] give you away? Maybe your facial expression might tell all or nothing?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here’s another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent, as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody perk up, as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too - unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts, on the other hand, have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake. And, let’s face it - nobody wants to be around someone that makes them feel bad.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to ‘feed’ healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may actually be sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

Power through the people

Have you come across a person who is so naturally friendly that when you put him inside a room of strangers, he’ll be friends with almost everyone in no time? We call such a people-person, someone unbelievably nice and so charismatic, that he can charm anyone into doing anything.

A socially-empowered person achieves so much greatness, basically, because of the people that catapult him to success. He earns the trust and all-out support of the people, whom he had helped before. He never runs out of help. He can do anything with the plethora of people behind him. All because he knows he maximizes his social potential!

See, if you know your social skills and you make use of them, you will reach self-empowerment. Self-empowerment is making a general overhaul in your life and turning yourself into a happier and more successful person. If you can be one of those people-persons, then I can’t see any reason why you will not succeed. You just have to know how to start.

1. Be genuine.

Hypocrisy will just bring you all the way down. Be genuinely nice and interested in people. Once they perceive that you are Mr. Hypocrite with selfish intentions, you might as well say goodbye to self-empowerment.

2. Be the greatest listener that you can be.

To earn the love and trust of the people, listen to their problems and sympathize with them. Do not just hear them out, listen to them with your heart. Make eye contact when the person talks to you. Listen as if every word matters, because it does.

3. Laugh out loud.

I do not mean that you force yourself to laugh for every joke cracked by someone, albeit you do not find it funny at all. This means finding humor in things and not being too darn serious. A person oozing with an awesome sense of humor attracts crowds and eventually, attracts success.

4. Don’t forget yourself.

In the process of fluttering around like a social butterfly, you might forget yourself, allowing everyone to push you over. Remember, love and value yourself before anyone else. If you deem yourself respectable and worthy of affection, people will flock to you and not trample on you.

5. Do random acts of kindness.

You don’t have to do a John Rockefeller and blow your savings to charity. Little acts of kindness matters the most, and this can be as simple as giving someone a surprise you-take-care card or helping an elderly cross the street. When we were kindergarten students, kindness was taught to us and greatly practiced. Now is the time to revive the good deeds and this time, let them stay for good.

6. Contact your old friends.

Sad how some friendships are destined to goodbye, but thanks to technology, you can do something about it. Relive the good old days by flipping through your yearbook and look for the great people whom you want to communicate with again. Adding these old friends to your roster of support peers, will surely make you feel good all over.

7. Develop your personality.

Are you grouchy, grumpy and generally morose? Whoa, you can’t go through life with those. Get rid of the bad traits and habits that perpetually hamper your growth. And really, who wants a grouchy friend anyway?

8. Be confident.

Be able to stride to the other corner of the room and introduce yourself to people with that winning smile of yours. Just remember: be confident, not arrogant.

9. Practice control.

When angry, don’t snap at anyone. Never throw a tantrum. Stay calm and collected. Be adult enough to take control of a situation and transform your anger into something more productive and passive. As soon as people think your anger goes to volcanic proportions easily, they will find it hard to come to you.

10. Keep nurturing your relationships.

Your relationship with your family, friends and significant others is too precious and you must not neglect it, whatever happens. Go out and have fun with them. Do things together. Happiness will never fly from your side as long as the people who matter the most are close to you.

In the end, using people for self-empowerment means becoming a better and more lovable person. It’s a win-win situation: the people know they can turn to you anytime and vice-versa.

Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.

Building an effective and lasting relationship is a necessity for several reasons. For example, in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.

The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management.

An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating. An effective group or organization can also ask so much of their members, that sometimes the members have no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.

People or other entities who depend on these groups or organization also suffer.

Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

Understanding the other parties’ feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they will feel the importance given to them.

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and gives what we need, when we need it - without asking for it - is not a good practice.

Respect is the key to relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.

The opposite of respect is quick forming of judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice.

Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives.

Work towards a win-win solution for both parties.

This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party’s needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.

Effectively listening and no pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other.

Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.

Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.

When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.

Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship. Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party’s feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.

Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say ‘No man is an Island’.

In feng shui, the master or main bedroom is the most important bedroom of the entire house. Everything from the harmony of the house to the finances of the house can be influenced by the master bedroom.

There are four major factors you should consider about feng shui in the bedroom:

• The shape of the bedroom
• Location of the bed
• What area of the house your bedroom is located
• What is used for decoration

These all play a pivotal role in the flow of energy in the house.

The shape of the bedroom is very important in feng shui. A rectangular or square room is the best. If your bedroom is oddly shaped, you can use a room divider to help it maintain a more rectangular shape.

The bed shouldn’t face a door or any ‘protruding’ edges of any kind. These are both symbols of negative energy and can be impossible to correct without moving the bed.

You should also avoid having any overhead beams above the bed or windows behind the headboard. Mirrors facing the bed also negatively affect the Chi of the area.

The ideal location for the master bedroom is in the Northwest of the house. This might not always be possible, however the next best choice is the Southwest. These two areas represent the Patriarch and Matriarch respectably.

Decorations are important but you don’t want to over do it. Depending on what your goals are, you can configure and energize the bedroom for romance, marriage, or relationships. You should avoid energizing the bedroom for luck in wealth.

If I had a dollar for every time a man asked me, “What do women really want from men?” I would be a rich woman. Each time, my response has remained the same. No matter the century, most women simply want to feel they are special in the eyes of their man, thus loved.

Where the issue can get a bit cloudy is what makes a woman ‘feel’ they are special [loved and appreciated] in the eyes of their man? While it is the same basic concept, the gestures expected will change as the relationship changes. It’s like any other area of life - there’s an appropriate timing of gestures and/or gifts. Gifts don’t necessarily mean tangible items either.

The greatest gift a man can give to a woman is something of himself. Whether that is the gift of listening, understanding, compassion, respect, or simply talking about the events of his day. All these actions show value, in the eyes of most women.

Not to say the physical gifts don’t matter, because you can bet your bottom dollar - not giving physical gifts will land you in the dog house, especially on those special dates. Dates are important to women - first date, first kiss, first song, birthday, first … well, you know what I mean; the first year anniversary of all these events, engagement date, wedding date, and the list can be quite long for some women.

So, what is a man to do? Many men might think these things are silly or pointless, or maybe even a waste of time to try to remember. And, men - you might have a point - but that’s not the issue at hand. With that said, here are some ways to keep your woman ‘feeling’ special and happy. Because let’s face it, if the woman in your life is happy and content, chances are your life will be a whole lot happier too!

Men, if you really want to know what women want from men, try a few of the following suggestions - it doesn’t hurt to listen [not just hear] when we try to tell you what we want.

Here are some very basic dynamics about women that men should remember:

• Women (generally speaking) are the softer side of the human race. We have softer bodies, soft demeanor (usually) and instinctively want to nurture and care for our fellow man.
• WOMEN SEE EVERYTHING!!! Never underestimate a woman’s instinct.

Women are [generally] more  intuitive than men. Simply, because we’ve been trained over thousands of years to have that watch-full eye over our children and loved ones. We must see what the children are doing and evaluate the potentials for hidden dangers constantly!

Why do you think moms always know when the hand is in the cookie jar, even when she’s not looking directly at you? Have you ever felt like a woman was looking at you and reading your very thoughts? Well essentially she is. She knows what that twitch of the eyebrows means, or the way you rub your thumb against your forefinger when you’re not being completely honest - your eyes tell the whole story.

• Women are attracted to the pretty - things like shiny [gemstone, diamond] jewelry - and anything that smells good.

But, here’s a tip for you men: Don’t wait until you are in trouble to do something nice for a woman. Believe me, it goes so much farther when you buy her flowers for no reason.  You can hardly go wrong with these gifts. This is especially true for a long-term relationship, because this tells her you are still creating something wonderful and appreciate her.

Here is something you may not have thought about when buying a woman flowers - send them to her place of business! The number of times I have heard other women oooh and ahhh over someone getting flowers at work and say: “You’re so lucky to have to have a wonderful husband/boyfriend who will send you flowers! I wish my husband/boyfriend was that romantic!”

When you make this a habit, it becomes a magical event. Not to mention, your status among the other women has just soared and you are viewed as a rare breed of men. Heavy sigh! (More sappiness)

Most women just plain and simply want to feel special. We go out of our way to do those unnoticed things most men take for granted. Flowers will never go out of style. This is a long-standing tried and true formula that still works and I think will continue to work long into the future.

• Women appreciate ‘not having to ask for’ your help - you see the dirty clothes laying on the floor, the garbage piled over the top of the trash can, the children struggling with homework. Instead of deferring, step up and get it done. You will be amazed at the positive effect this has on your sex life too.
• Sometimes it’s not what you say, but rather how you say it - “Honey, you look TIRED, let me do that for you” or “You look like you had a rough day” sounds much better when phrased in the following manner: “Honey, you have been working way too hard, let me help with that” or “Even though you still look beautiful, I know how hard your day was, sit down and let me take care of that.

NEVER SAY: I’ll do that for you, etc. This will have a negative effect, especially if she has had a particularly challenging day. It infers the job or task as being ‘hers’ rather than one that is shared.

And when you think you are at a loss when trying to figure out what the woman in your life wants, just ask yourself - What did SHE tell me she wants? Then take a look at your surroundings, notice the carefully arranged photographs, or the aroma in the air and all those other little things women do to make their men feel special and loved.

Then go do something special for her - for no good reason other than showing her how special she is! You might be surprised how good it makes YOU feel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note: While the content on this site is given freely, there are costs associated with maintaining the site and presenting new tips and information. Please consider making a donation today. Every little bit helps, even if it’s only a dollar or two. All donations are valued and appreciated.