TheGoSeeGirl.com Answers, Information and Resource Blog

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO IMPROVE YOURSELF?

Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities  get wrapped around us, we come up with thoughts like, “I wish I was somebody else.” More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us - when in reality, the fact is, most people are more scared than us.

You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of Asti Spumanti. You think to yourself, “she looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read her mind, you would see a cloud of self-doubt; and you might just be amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here alone?… Why don’t guys find me attractive? …I don’t like my ankles, they look too skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”

We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “Woah… what else could he ask for?” He stares at himself in the mirror and murmur to himself, “I hate my big eyes… I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me… I hope mom and dad will work things out.”

Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them? While they look at us and think the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. It can become a vicious circle of thoughts. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement, because we allow ourselves to become enveloped in quiet desperation.

Everyone has their own challenges in life that they must overcome. There is no such thing as ‘the perfect’ life. But, that doesn’t mean we can’t make our life ‘perfect’ for us. While it’s true, money makes life a whole lot easier to deal with, there are many rich people who would trade their fortune to find that one true love. Everything in life has some sort of trade off, it keeps life balanced. But, you don’t have to trade the most valuable thing you possess - the ability to focus and appreciate all the good things in your life.

The Ability:

Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting your fingernails, having a foul mouth, and you - of all people - are the last to know or realize. But, with that realization comes the ability to change and improve.

I have a friend who never gets tired of talking about herself. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circle whenever she’s around, and she doesn’t notices how badly she became socially handicapped - gradually affecting the people in her environment.

The greatest key to self improvement is to LISTEN first, and then TALK. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with, even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”, “Do I always sound so argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Do I ever bore you when we’re together?”. Then listen to what they have to say. Think about what they said with an open mind. Then, talk about it with your friend, ask for suggestions and come up with a positive plan to make improvements.

In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend him/her your ears for comments and criticisms and don’t give him/her responses like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!” Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help him/her improve.

One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself first. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself are a representation of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.

Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others, only to think in the end, that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them. Because you know what? They are most likely thinking the same thing.

We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.

Realizing your own self worth improves your confidence, thus improving everything from body posture to speech and eye contact. Don’t just talk about how you feel, show it through your actions. Back that up with positive reinforcement and you will be amazed at the results, as well as your improved mood.

Here’s a real good example, that keeps it simple:

A child touches or plays with something [maybe of financial value or just plain dangerous] that you would rather they not touch. The worse way to ‘attempt’ teaching that child is usually a swat on the hand and firmly stating, “No.” And I say attempt, because this will only make the child desire the object more.

Instead, try the following: (Explain in words they understand) Pick up one of their toys, a book, or safe alternate object - while displaying extreme interest in object. Most children will refocus their attention to the object you possess. For those children who do not, suggest a trade or tell them - “Here, you may play with this, but that [the object they possess] is not safe, let mommy/daddy have it. Gently remove the object from their hand, saying “thank you, that was a very good girl/boy.”

The same positive reinforcement applies with adults. When you focus on the positive, the negative moves to the background. The more positive your focus, the better you will feel and the easier solutions will come to follow. People will see you in a positive light, because you are positive as a person. Only good things can come from that. The positive feeds off the positive - get it?

Now start starving the negative and feeding the positive!

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 22nd, 2010 at 2:21 am and is filed under Mental Health, Self Improvement, Thought of the Day.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.