I am going to ask you to do something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive or negative?

Now let’s say you are walking down the street with these same thoughts. Do you think anyone, you might encounter, would be able to tell you what you were thinking? Would the way you presented yourself [air of confidence or suspicious of others] give you away? Maybe your facial expression might tell all or nothing?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here’s another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent, as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody perk up, as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too - unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts, on the other hand, have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake. And, let’s face it - nobody wants to be around someone that makes them feel bad.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to ‘feed’ healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may actually be sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO IMPROVE YOURSELF?

Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities  get wrapped around us, we come up with thoughts like, “I wish I was somebody else.” More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us - when in reality, the fact is, most people are more scared than us.

You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of Asti Spumanti. You think to yourself, “she looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read her mind, you would see a cloud of self-doubt; and you might just be amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here alone?… Why don’t guys find me attractive? …I don’t like my ankles, they look too skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”

We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “Woah… what else could he ask for?” He stares at himself in the mirror and murmur to himself, “I hate my big eyes… I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me… I hope mom and dad will work things out.”

Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them? While they look at us and think the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. It can become a vicious circle of thoughts. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement, because we allow ourselves to become enveloped in quiet desperation.

Everyone has their own challenges in life that they must overcome. There is no such thing as ‘the perfect’ life. But, that doesn’t mean we can’t make our life ‘perfect’ for us. While it’s true, money makes life a whole lot easier to deal with, there are many rich people who would trade their fortune to find that one true love. Everything in life has some sort of trade off, it keeps life balanced. But, you don’t have to trade the most valuable thing you possess - the ability to focus and appreciate all the good things in your life.

The Ability:

Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting your fingernails, having a foul mouth, and you - of all people - are the last to know or realize. But, with that realization comes the ability to change and improve.

I have a friend who never gets tired of talking about herself. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circle whenever she’s around, and she doesn’t notices how badly she became socially handicapped - gradually affecting the people in her environment.

The greatest key to self improvement is to LISTEN first, and then TALK. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with, even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”, “Do I always sound so argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Do I ever bore you when we’re together?”. Then listen to what they have to say. Think about what they said with an open mind. Then, talk about it with your friend, ask for suggestions and come up with a positive plan to make improvements.

In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend him/her your ears for comments and criticisms and don’t give him/her responses like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!” Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help him/her improve.

One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself first. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself are a representation of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.

Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others, only to think in the end, that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them. Because you know what? They are most likely thinking the same thing.

We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.

Realizing your own self worth improves your confidence, thus improving everything from body posture to speech and eye contact. Don’t just talk about how you feel, show it through your actions. Back that up with positive reinforcement and you will be amazed at the results, as well as your improved mood.

Here’s a real good example, that keeps it simple:

A child touches or plays with something [maybe of financial value or just plain dangerous] that you would rather they not touch. The worse way to ‘attempt’ teaching that child is usually a swat on the hand and firmly stating, “No.” And I say attempt, because this will only make the child desire the object more.

Instead, try the following: (Explain in words they understand) Pick up one of their toys, a book, or safe alternate object - while displaying extreme interest in object. Most children will refocus their attention to the object you possess. For those children who do not, suggest a trade or tell them - “Here, you may play with this, but that [the object they possess] is not safe, let mommy/daddy have it. Gently remove the object from their hand, saying “thank you, that was a very good girl/boy.”

The same positive reinforcement applies with adults. When you focus on the positive, the negative moves to the background. The more positive your focus, the better you will feel and the easier solutions will come to follow. People will see you in a positive light, because you are positive as a person. Only good things can come from that. The positive feeds off the positive - get it?

Now start starving the negative and feeding the positive!

Positive thinking “Your seven days in 7 ways program to Enlightenment”

Do you have a bright idea hidden somewhere in the back of your mind? Something that you just can’t wait to test out. We all have bright ideas. So what motivates one person to churn those creative, or even inspiring juices to fruitation? While others will only ‘play’ with the ideas in their heads?

Setting personal goals can accomplish maximum results in record time. Maybe mowing the lawn before sitting down to watch the big game on TV. Balancing your bank account before you budget the current month’s bills. Or organizing that closet. A positive attitude in whatever you do, will make things easier and most often — enjoyable.

Thinking big is the American Way and that’s what made our country prosperous. But, for too many people, thinking big is nothing more than dreaming. So, to them I say, “So long and while it’s been nice knowing you, I’m moving on to higher ground.”

When we view anything in life in a negative light, that is what will follow. We find success in the things we do when the precept and expectation is for a positive result. Ergo, positivity begets positivity and negativity begets negativity. If one starts out with the expectation of failure, that is what they will find as the end result. Enlightenment comes with the ideas of an open mind.

Here’s a few tips to make the most of your day — throughout the week. Even when we’re just sitting in our favorite easy chair our mind is still hard at work. Ideas take time to form. And while we appear to be sitting idle, doing nothing, these ideas are spinning the gears of our mind. Sometimes, when we least expect it, we find the solutions to problems or answers to make our ideas reality.

1. Take passionate action towards living your life by design. Talk is cheap, but action is the equivalent of ‘deposits’ in the bank account of a passionately authentic future. Without action, passion is void.

This is a perfect example of ‘where dreams are made of’ by tinkering with your mind, rather then with your hands. Until you dream it, it cannot begin the process of becoming a reality. And if the idea weakens, you can always go back to it later with a fresh view.

2. Commit to yourself [as well as those you love] to create a powerful ‘life’ you can love and actually enjoy living. Instead of reacting, commit to creating from your heart and soul, out of love rather than fear. The American Dream will always be there, but a dream will still be a dream if it never gets put into motion. Be amazed in your ability to achieve and let the transformation begin.

3. Recognize and embrace the thought that each moment is perfect regardless of its outcome. Every time you hit on something that may appear too extreme, why not give it a shot anyway, it just might work. In fact, you might be pleasantly surprised to see there are other ways to get the task done. There’s more than one way to peel a potato. If you are not pleased with the outcome, decide to use that moment to learn and make the appropriate shift.

4. Dwell in a complete state of gratitude. Learn to utilize what you have in your hands and make use of it in the most constructive way. Slipping into neediness will become less of a habit when you repeatedly shift towards gratitude and away from poverty consciousness.

5. Use a Passion Formula of “Recognize/Reevaluate/Restore” in place of “Shoulda/Woulda/Coulda.” The former is based on increased knowledge and abundance, while the latter focuses on scarcity and lack thereof. As you face people or tasks that may ’seem more difficult than scaling the summit of the Himalayas’ allow yourself to realize that the task is just as important as giving out orders to your subordinates. You would rather be richly passionate!

6. Keep humor at the forefront of your thoughts, laughing at [and with] yourself when possible. You may find yourself quite entertaining when you loosen up! I have yet to see a comedian ever go hungry, even though his jokes are as ‘old’ as great-grandma. Life has too much to offer, don’t allow yourself to mope around in self pity. Humor is very attractive, very passionate, and extremely contagious.

7. Believe that you are the architect of your destiny. No one can take your passionate future from you — except you! Create your life authentically. As long as there’s still a breath in your body, there is no end to how much you can accomplish in a lifetime. The concept of thinking big is all about enjoying your work, which will lead to celebrating a discovery that was born within your mind. Watch everything flow into place with perfect, passionate precision.

It’s interesting how people get wallowed up by something as trivial as learning to use a computer. Nowadays top computer companies are manufacturing software that even our toddlers can operate. I don’t mean to be condescending, but that’s the idea of not having any positive thinking in your life. So instead of subjecting yourself to a negative attitude of what you will be doomed for, make your own destiny by taking the first step with a positive attitude. Challenge yourself to develop your coping skills, then take it one step further by developing solutions that work for you.

The mind that believes all things are possible, opens the possibility of all things.

Copyright 2009 Odella aka Alhavakia